Lonely Dear-Dear John

Lonely Dear Dear John:

Indie pop heavy on wimpy vocals and outdated synthesizer sounds. Oh! and lets not forget the incredibly cheesy background vocals!

Rating: 6/15 Dear John, please stop making music


Meercaz Meercaz:

Lo-fi Iggy Pop wannabe. Sloppy fuzzed out riffs and incomprehensible, yelps pepper this release. Little attention is paid to song structure or dynamics. Theres enough bands that do this shtick and do it way better to warrant spending money on this album

Rating: 8/15 Lame afros

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – It’s Blitz!

Yeah Yeah Yeahs It’s Blitz!:

Awesome! Vapid dance rock with atrocious lyrics. Finally something for me to bone lame pseudo-hipster chicks to!

Rating: 2/15 ridiculous costumes.

MC Chris-MC Chris is Dead

MC Chris- MC Chris is Dead:

Never has been funny isn’t funny and never will be funny. The fact that he is making a living making not funny fake hip hop makes me question the validity of Humanism as a moral viewpoint.

Rating: 0/15 Humor points

Ruby Isle-Night Shot

Ruby Isle Night Shot:

A classically trained composer and a scientist do a lame imitation of Cars style pop.

Rating: 5/15 Day jobs

Franz Ferdinand-Tonight

Franz Ferdinand Tonight:

Another slab of middling disco punk. Theres a glimmer of decent ideas in some of these tracks, but the endless repetition and tepid vocal delivery kill them pretty quickly. Its albums like this that make me want to go back in time, and kill Gang of Four before they released Entertainment.

Rating: 3/15 Angular riffs

Holywater – Tranquility

Holywater Tranquility:

A bunch of dudes woke up and went “Let’s out wuss Aereogramme.” They succeeded in that.

Rating: 2/10 effeminate men whining

Fourteen Year Old Girls – Strategy Guides

Fourteen Year Old Girls Strategy Guides:

Fuck you, this is not funny.

Rating: 2/15 for dorks who think geekyteez.com is funny stuff

Pink Razors – Leave Alive

Pink Razors Leave Alive:

Lame generic pop punk. Sadly there’s not much more to it than that. Oh wait, some female vocals.

Rating: 5/15 goofy haircuts and awkward myspace photos

Cynic-Traced in Air

Cynic Traced in Air:

A jumbled cluster-fuck of influences that comes out sounding like Dream Theater without the chops. The vocals are a true low point. Several times an effects treated vocal will come in, and another falsetto vocal will try and harmonize. The falsetto vocal never quite makes it so the listener is treated to some pseudo prog riffing topped by one singer that sounds like hes singing into a robots asshole mixed with another singer who’s singing in a high voice, and is off key. Way to go guys.

Rating 5/15: failed attempts at overblown prog-metal


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