U2-No Line on the Horizon

U2 No Line on the Horizon:

Bono sings lyrics about boots and ju ju men over hip hop beats and incredibly bad fuzzed out bass. Completely fucking terrible in every way possible. I don’t understand how this band has tricked people into buying any of their records after The Joshua Tree.

Rating 0/15 quality points

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MC Chris-MC Chris is Dead

MC Chris- MC Chris is Dead:

Never has been funny isn’t funny and never will be funny. The fact that he is making a living making not funny fake hip hop makes me question the validity of Humanism as a moral viewpoint.

Rating: 0/15 Humor points

Tahiti Boy and The Palmtree Family-EP

Tahiti Boy and The Palmtree Family EP:

This album hasn’t been released yet, but after listening to thirty seconds of the song 1973 I feel qualified to bash any and all output this band, its members, and scene affiliates may ever produce. Nothing, and I mean nothing pisses me of more than grown men making twee pop with string and woodwind sections. If they were making this kind of music for a children’s television show, I’d still be put off, but this music is meant for consumption by other adults. Adult men and women see this band live then go home together. The human condition and the world which we experience provide nearly endless interesting subject matter to be explored. If you experience the world around you and the ideas that the human mind is capable of, and come out of that process wanting to write cutesy songs about little birdies and flowers set to music videos with dancing puppets, then you are an insult to the human race’s artistic capabilities. Sesame Street contains more challenging ideas than this bullshit band. If you like this band you are wrong, and I advise you to stop listening to them, because the next step has to be diaper fetishism.

0/15 Redeeming artistic qualities