The Mighty Orq-To the Bone

The Mighty Orq To the Bone:

To my great disappointment  this album isn’t power metal, instead its watered down versions of every style of rock popular in the early nineties. The riffs never have more than two and a half chords, and the singer perfectly fits the role of the deep voiced sleazy singer. Not good enough to compete with Theory of a Dead Man for radio play.

Rating: 4/15 Tears of Eddie Vedder

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Lonely Dear-Dear John

Lonely Dear Dear John:

Indie pop heavy on wimpy vocals and outdated synthesizer sounds. Oh! and lets not forget the incredibly cheesy background vocals!

Rating: 6/15 Dear John, please stop making music

Heaven In Her Arms – Duplex-Coated Obstacles

Heaven In Her Arms Duplex-Coated Obstacles:

This is Envy using a different name right? No? Cause it sounds exactly like them. These guys have that whole spoken word into slightly muted screaming while the music does the whole quiet- loud dynamic post-hardcore thing down pat. Boooorrrriinnnggggg.

Rating: 7/15 artsy fartsy song title names

Vetiver-Tight Knit

Vetiver Tight Knit:

Pleasant indie pop with lush arrangement s and hushed vocals. Not bad, so much as it is uneventful. Throw in some dynamics and this could have been a solid disk.

Rating: 8/15 snooze points

Bricolage-Turn U Over

Bricolage Turn U Over:

Another indie pop band trying to be The Smiths 25 years too late, and without the musical chops.

Rating: 3/15 Quit before you become popular, and really embarrass yourself

Celeste – Misanthrope(s)

Celeste Misanthrope(s):

Even though this is hardcore mixed with black metal, it’s still really bland and gets old quickly.

Rating: 6/15 shitty musical Reese’s cup

Cat Power-Jukebox

Cat Power Jukebox:

A perfect display of Chan Marshall’s uncanny ability to take any piece of music and make it boring.

Rating: 3/15 Interesting as a glass of warm milk points