Ribspreader – Opus Ribcage

Ribspreader Opus Ribcage:

Goofy death metal that sounds like outtakes from an early Cannibal Corpse recording session. Also a pointless cover of the Ramones’ “Blitzkrieg Pop” which is neither funny or good.

Rating: 3/15 even Chris Barnes was bored by this

Aesop Rock-None Shall Pass

Aesop Rock None Shall Pass:

Lame beats and  lame lyrics seem to be Aesop’s new forte. I prefer his old forte, which was making classic albums, and breaking new ground in hip hop lyricism.

Rating: 3/15 Labor Days

Bricolage-Turn U Over

Bricolage Turn U Over:

Another indie pop band trying to be The Smiths 25 years too late, and without the musical chops.

Rating: 3/15 Quit before you become popular, and really embarrass yourself

Franz Ferdinand-Tonight

Franz Ferdinand Tonight:

Another slab of middling disco punk. Theres a glimmer of decent ideas in some of these tracks, but the endless repetition and tepid vocal delivery kill them pretty quickly. Its albums like this that make me want to go back in time, and kill Gang of Four before they released Entertainment.

Rating: 3/15 Angular riffs

Cat Power-Jukebox

Cat Power Jukebox:

A perfect display of Chan Marshall’s uncanny ability to take any piece of music and make it boring.

Rating: 3/15 Interesting as a glass of warm milk points

Crime Desire – We Hate All Life

Crime Desire We Hate All Life:

The best thing about this album is how short it is. Basically it’s the Locust minus anything interesting, so you get spazzy shouts and crazy guitar playing but somehow it all becomes one long, annoying song. Sweet job dudes!

Rating: 3/15 lack of musical talents disguised as creativity

Japanther-Skuffed Up My Huffy

Japanther Skuffed Up My Huffy:

If you strip away the indier than thou recording quality and the multi layered slacker vocals, you basically have Relient K.

Rating: 3/15 thinly veiled pop punk bands

Owl City-Of June

Owl City Of June:

Postal Service with a bigger pussy singing in that popular nasally whine voice.

Rating: 3/15 Loyal youtube fanbases

The New Year-Selftitled

The New Year Selftitled:

Mopey mope piano centered indie pop. Like a more depressing Ben Folds.

Rating: 3/15 Saddy sad faces

The Ugly Suit-Selftitled

The Ugly Suit Selftitled:

Bright Eyes-esque Buttrock. Avoid at all costs

Rating: 3/15 Bands that are as ugly as they are terrible